Friendships
Coming to College can be a big change for your social life. For some, the difference between school environments to a college can be a big adjustment. For Adult learners, there are more opportunities to meet people of all ages and all walks of life.
Friendships are an important part of our social life and having meaningful friends is necessary for good wellbeing.
Friendship Advice
Useful advice on what makes a good friend from Childline
Support for LGBTQ+
LGBTQ+ issues with friendships
Support your friend
Advice on supporting your friend who may be struggling with anxiety, depression or a mental illness
Friendship quiz
Find out what kind of friend you are on the childline website
Friendship Dramas?
We’ve all been there, Ted feels left out because Omar didn’t invite him to come to Kendal Calling or Jess feels like Sky should give her a lift to college everyday because she has no money. People and friendships can be complicated. Communication is key! Staying calm and and not blaming anyone will help you get your point across about how you are feeling.
There is no right and wrong way to be a friend, and you can choose who you spend your free time with. If someone is behaving in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to accept it.
If you are finding that you are often in a state of heightened emotion, or ‘drama’, around friendships or relationships, it may be helpful to learn about the ‘drama triangle’. Particularly if you find yourself blaming others, it’s easy to divert anger towards a person or ‘persecutor’ when you feel helpless. Watch the video below for more info.
Relationships
Romantic relationships give the opportunity to be intimate, sharing thoughts and feelings with another person and enjoying closeness. There are many different ways a romantic relationship can work, ultimately being able to relate to another person with similar likes, interests and values is usually the successful component.
Online Flirting, Sexting and Sending Nudes
In today’s world, you are more likely to start a new relationship online than face to face. This means how you communicate over social media and the internet is really important.
Zipit is a free app that helps with online flirting tips, GIFS that help deflect unwanted messages or requests and is good for starting out in the online dating world.
If you are sent a nude photo and asked to ‘return the favour’ remember it is illegal to take, own or send a nude photo of someone under the age of 18, regardless of consent.
If you feel pressured, check out the advice from Childline
Sex
Choosing to have sexual relations with another person can be a big decision, care should be taken that both people are ready and in a healthy place to do so.
Advice on contraception
Local sexual health advice
Condoms – Fact & fiction
Search for advice and information
Advice and information
Your local sexual health clinics
BirchWood Clinic, Barrow
Phone: 01229 404 464
Tuesday 11:30am -7:30pm
Thursday 11:30am – 7:30pm
Friday 9:00am – 5:00pm
KentWood Clinic, Kendal
Phone: 01539 716 706
Monday 11:30am -7:30pm
Wednesday 9:00am – 5:00pm
Solway Clinic, Carlisle
Phone: 01228 608 989
Monday 9:00am – 5:00pm
Tuesday 11:30am – 7:30pm
Wednesday 9:00am – 5:00pm
Thursday 11:30am – 7:30pm
Friday 9:00am – 2:00pm
Dating Safety
In a world full of internet dating, tinder, etc. It is easier than ever before to communicate with absolute strangers. If you like someone and are considering meeting someone for a date, please follow this advice to stay safe:
- do your research ensure they are who they say they are by searching on social media or googling them.
- keep your personal info private don’t give your address or date of birth out to people you don’t know. Also think carefully about telling strangers too much about you.
- always tell someone else where you are going, times, location etc. It’s best to bring a friend who can sit at another table in a café to be sure to stay safe.
- have your phone fully charged, keep location setting on.
- have a back up plan discuss with a trusted friend a back up plan if things feel uncomfortable e.g. text code word if you need help.
- agree to meet in a public place, be wary of people who want to meet you at home or invite you to their house straight away.
If you are in a bar and feel unsafe with the person you are with, most bar staff are trained on the ‘ask for Angela’ movement:
Domestic Abuse
Sometimes relationships can go wrong. Expectations can change, the people in the relationship may start to feel uncomfortable.
If you notice that the relationship you are in isn’t making you happy any more it is important to talk about this to your partner. If you feel that you are unsafe, unable to have this discussion, or nothing changes; consider speaking to someone you trust, the Wellbeing officer at Kendal College, or your GP.
There is also support below for young people and when parents or carers may be experiencing domestic abuse.
Honor Based Violence charity
Support for those from a Black or Ethnic Minority background
Legal support for Women fleeing Domestic Abuse
National Stalking Helpline
